Breathless
by Joice a.k.a. Europa
Summary: [Death Fic][TezukaAtobe] I could never be the one just for you as much as you could never be the only one just for me.


Note – I've been waiting to post this story on Atobe's birthday (4 October) because I love Atobe! and Tezuka/Atobe is my favorite pairing in Tenipuri Fandom. I want to make it special and memorable :)

Warning : **Death Fic** and **Un-betaed** (You have been warned.)

_Disclaimer_ – The prince of tennis is not mine.

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**Breathless**

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I remembered seeing you through the little view of hospital's window. The certain view looked nicer when you came here, even though you didn't come to see me. As far as I knew, you came to pick up your lover's stuffs that still left in the room next to mine. 

We hardly talked since we had start high school, so I didn't dare to ask or meet you in person. And I didn't think I would want to know why you came here either.

The first time I met you, it was our Kanto's tennis competition, at that time we were in the second year in middle school. Your school might lose to mine by the score, but your determined eyes and your perfect skills still shined through the court and through my heart, too.

Your world was tennis. You breathed it in and out. I knew because I did, too.

A game by a game could cut your breath away with a single second. I liked every moment of its challenge. But now I have to give it all up because it was too much for my poor heart. I was dying both inside and outside.

Wasn't it ironic? _Atobe Keigo_, the famous ore-sama, had health problem.

I never knew about it until my freshmen year back in high school. That fateful day of my life became a memory that I wouldn't forget. I was running to the finish line in the marathon contest, but when I was so close to the line _suddenly_ my legs gave out, all my body turned numb and my body was thrown into the ground by the speed. The goal was there, but I could not reach.

My consciousness lost as I felt someone hold my body up. I knew later that the one who help me was you, _Tezuka Kunimitsu_.

Why did you help me? Wasn't I you rival?

Since that day, I became helpless and powerless to your touch. I couldn't live without you. I felt weak when you were far away. I became like this because you already have someone in your heart. I could never be the one for you as much as you could never be the only one just for me.

The most wonderful person for you was Fuji Syusuke. Needless to say, I could never win a love game against the tensai.

When I was about to confess my feeling for you, I saw Fuji cuddled your arm with loving grasp and then you smiled to him with the kindest smile I had ever seen. My eyes burned with hot tear. I had to get away from this sorrowful moment before you and Fuji notice my existence. My heart cried for your touch and your voice that could never be only for me.

I could remember how you say the name of your love one softly. Then I started to imagine, would you say my name if you love me, but I realize that I couldn't do it because there was nothing left to imagine. You never called me by my given name and would never will. There was no love when we talk. You already had Fuji for all you care.

It was still a surprise for me that I learned later that Seigaku's tensai also was dying.

And the most surprising thing was that we stayed in the room next to each other, only to be screened by the thin wall. I could hear many of your love conversation. The sound of giggle from the room next door hurt my heart deeply. You must be very happy to be there for your love one when I have none.

But since the light of prodigy turned off, your life was also lost as well. That night you came into my room. Your eyes looked at me just like I always want them to. You cried in front of me and asked me to be with you the whole night before the sorrowful ceremony began. That was what I could do for you at that time, supported you and be with you when you needed to be held.

The next morning came just like an old love song; slow but straight to the heart of the audience. I woke up to see you dressed in a black suit, ready to meet your love for the last time. You helped me stand on my feet and smiled at me as if known that I was fragile. I wonder how you could still smile like that when your love one was gone, buried deep down six feet under.

I remembered seeing you standing in front of everyone in his funeral, but I knew your heart was not there. It was kept behind your lover's name on the grave stone. The way you looked at your love lie down lifeless in the coffin for the last time would last long forever in my heart. Maybe it was because I want someone to look at me like that. With all the love in your eyes, your tear ran down on your face without any blink.

Thinking of that moment brought me greatest sorrow, but I knew that your life must go on and I knew you still in love with him. It was just like you were stamping your foot on my heart painfully.

I closed my eyes as my breath was taken away. My consciousness lost in the flash of memories. Then I felt someone holding my hand. I opened my eyes to see yours. My left hand in your both hand, you moved it to touch all over your face. I could feel warm from you forehead and neck. My hand and fingers must be cold, I knew it from the way you try to warm it even though it was no use.

"Don't leave me… Keigo."

You never knew how much I dear for you calling out for my name. I thought you never acknowledged my present. I never knew I was wrong for all this time.

I knew I will go to live my life in heaven soon. I was going to meet my family and friends who were waiting for me to accompany in paradise. I was sure I was going to meet Fuji, too. Maybe I could say hi to him for you and tell him that you were doing fine right now. Being the tennis professional was not easy, but you were doing it very well.

"I won't let you go."

I was breathless when I heard you said that to me.

Unable to return your words, I closed my eyes again and felt your soft kiss on my hand. The river of sorrow ran deep and the levels of truth were too heavy. I wanted to stay and say the word…

_…I love you…_

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**End of Breathless**

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